Do you often find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself? For example, does the thought that you could fail your dreams haunt you? Do you worry a lot or think bad things will happen to you? If this is you, and you want to learn how to rewire your brain with the power of neuroscience, then here's how to start by setting boundaries over your private and public personality(s).
To begin with, negative thought patterns are pervasive—only about 2 per cent of society has shifted limiting beliefs. These can stem from various issues, such as addiction, anxiety or depression, and affect everyone differently.
The positive is that you can learn to stop negative thoughts by changing how you perceive yourself.
There are various ways to do this, from medication to lifestyle changes, psychotherapy or counselling/therapy.
Here are our top tips to get you started to try and help things feel less complicated and challenging.
The Thoughts Replacement Technique
The "Thoughts Replacement Technique" enables you to deal more effectively with negative thoughts by challenging how you view the world, people around you and yourself.
What do you need to do?
Firstly you need to acknowledge and be aware of the negative thoughts when they occupy your mind and immediately replace them with positive ones.
A few examples include:
- When you think of failure, start thinking of success.
- When you expect something terrible to happen, replace this thought with the thought that something good will happen.
- When you feel sad, replace your thoughts with happiness by thinking of things you are grateful for.
However, this is not a quick fix - such does not exist. It takes practice and shouldn't be forced. It will take time for your mind to open up to new ways of seeing situations.
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, your thought pattern will not change - this is due to trauma, and we advise seeking professional mental health support as soon as you can!
It is OK to feel sad sometimes, but don't let it become all-consuming.
To begin with, there will be inner resistance, and you may find it difficult to sometimes forget. Still, if you persevere with it and continue to practice, it becomes a learnt behaviour and a natural way of thinking. Eventually, you won't consider changing a limiting belief (negative thought). Your rewired brain will just do so naturally.
Remove "Should" Thoughts
"Should" statements can contribute to anxious thought patterns because they put a demand on you that's sometimes unrealistic to live up to.
A few examples include:
- "I should really eat healthier".
- "I should go to the gym every day".
- "I should stop thinking this way".
This can trigger a guilt response and send you down the path of self-loathing.
Remove should from the statement/plan to be kinder to yourself and avoid putting yourself under too much pressure.
Knowledge is Power
There is a form of cognitive distortion known as Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs).
ANTs are your first thought when you have a strong feeling or reaction to something, like a reflex.
It can also cause your thoughts to become so overwhelming that they manifest into panic attacks.
Recognising them can be demanding as you may have had them your whole life. However, it is not impossible and using a journal to manage your thoughts can help you recognise what is causing them. Below is a list of things to write about :
A few examples include:
- What situation is causing the anxiety? – Think about the 5 W's (who, what, when, where and why).
- How did you feel – Were you nervous, angry or upset? On a scale of 1 – 100, how intense was this feeling?
- What thoughts did you have? – Nobody likes me? I am stupid? I can't cope?
Breaking down the situation into "tasks" may help shift your mindset away from the prevailing mood, control your thoughts, and help you work out the triggers and how to change them.
You can also play out the worst-case scenario, assess your feelings, and record your observations.
As you dig into the details, it may be indirectly linked to something else that makes you uncomfortable. By identifying this, you are slowly gaining control of your emotions and learning to prevent them from overwhelming.
The team at VavaViolet Magazine wishes you the best of luck. We promise you are going to be OK and that you are going to fall back in love with yourself, your community, your loved ones, and maybe even society again!
PS: Please do not forget this - having a private life and a public personality is OK. What we mean by this is that not everyone deserves to know you entirely; protecting your energy, talents, and aura is often safer before showing others that their perspective of you does not matter; what matters is how you feel about yourself!
Written by VavaViolet Magazine's Editor-in-Chief, Sophie Blackman.
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