Whether you are someone who writes regularly or someone that hasn't written anything down since your school days, starting a sex journal could do wonders for your sex life!
Many people have decided to put pen to paper and start documenting their encounters, so let's explore if this new trend is right for you, and uncover how to get started.
What is a sex journal, and what is the point of one?
A sex journal should be a way of voicing your thoughts in one place where you have all of the control. The initial idea may be overwhelming, but so many have begun to benefit from this practice, making the curiosity out whey the fear.
Throughout your life, your sexual journey is not a straight line, and it is something that is constantly evolving. Being able to have a record of this is helpful. It can help you see the good, the bad, and the changes you are on within this journey and how they can correspond with different milestones in your life.
When dealing with self-love, trauma, and just general likes and dislikes, a sex journal can help you flourish, heal and be a safe space to be honest with yourself without needing anyone else's input.
A sex journal can be an aid to improving your sexual connections. Meaning it can help you communicate your sexual desires and needs with a partner or explore yourself. That honesty will carry over into other areas of your life too!
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How do I write a sex journal?
So, where to begin. Many of you probably think this sounds great, but how do I get started? It is as simple as reaching for pen and paper and just writing down how you are feeling! However, here are some questions to consider if you are stuck or struggling to know where to start.
- What point are you at in your menstrual cycle, and how has this affected you?
- On a scale, where is your mental health and stress levels placed?
- Did you use any sex toys, tools or props? Did you like them? Why?
- How do you feel about yourself?
- Did anything trigger negatively with you?
- Were there any emotional blocks that you noticed?
- Were there any physical blocks you noticed?
- How present did you feel?
- Is there anything you are fantasising about?
- Any curiosities you would like to explore?
To keep yourself organised, keep this journal separate from any other diary you may keep and make sure that it is something that makes you want to write - get witty and doesn't miss out on the exciting details.
Consistency is key and each time you have some fun (even the self-love kind), remember to write down just a few words about how you are feeling about the experience if nothing else.
Remember that this is a safe place and that no one else will look at this unless you invite them. You have no excuse to not be completely honest with yourself. It is your moment to reflect, and if what you write makes sense to you, that is all that matters.
The more honest you are, the freer it is, and the more you will reveal about yourself.
A sex journal is your space to express yourself in any way you want to. You can set the tone, who gets to read it, what you write about and what you don't and how to make it work.
Most importantly, remember to go to town and have fun doing it!
By Sophie Blackman.
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